DESI WESI

lmao i have ptsd

interviewer-kun

very cool haha nice and epic, say weren't you the advisor for Phantom?

[uh oh desi wesi angery boi]

destitute/6682/big daddy sausage boi

NOT CANON REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the NPU, and I've been involved in numerous attacks on Resistance strongholds, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in CQC and I'm the top in CQC in the entire NPU. You are nothing to me but just another little scrawny bitch. I will wipe you the fuck out with ferocity the likes of which has never been seen before on this Planet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Inter-comms? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Universal Union and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the shotgun storm, maggot. The shotgun storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can torture you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare fucking hands. Not only am I extensively trained in CQC, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Nova Prospekt Division and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the universal union, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" words was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking words. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.”

good way to start

Destitute is literally the scum of the earth, he talks about always wanting to fuck my tight virgin asshole but he won't unless he pays me 25k

pretty fuckin gay

e

fucking gay

Nigga bathroom

one day big bad clone man walk into tent and said "fucking start that shit up plz i want my damned blue lobster or gay"

man with clipboard (who is also middle-aged) say back "yessiroksirsurediddlydo"

power came through the blue lobster whose heart began to beat in sync with the world as he slowly resurrected from his dirt nap of untold millennia preparing to P U N I S H people so hard.

blue lobster looked around the tent "did ya'll fucking touch me wtf bro gay" then he proceeded to kill the gays

clone man was the big sad and went outside, lit a cig and blue lobster exited the tent covered in ketchup.

"bruh really"

"cmon man they touched me that hella no bueno"

then they got in the big black car and drove off because the blue lobster really really really wanted to punish desi wesi for being a bad boi owo

meanwhile at desi's home the burns comes along and is really edgyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Burnyboi

oh god oh fuck my fucking ptsd nigga

Desi

ha p u s s y e d g e p e n i s

then kirk was there too...... idfk he's just kinda existing now i'll think of something later shut up

Kirk (who i imagine looks like revolver ocelot)

bruh lambda council mfing uhhhhhhhhhhh corrupt mfing uhhhhhhhhhh bad and shit

Burns

yes tru very tru, we mentally unstable war veterans are definitely reliable sources of information on the activities of the current govuhnment

Kirk

y e s

then they ate lasagne because for some reason i was channelling garfield when i wrote some of the chapters

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i take my writing very srsly as you can see

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MEME-nto mori

le funny hahha i make fun of BJ and make a will because im so funny and random and aussie lmao xddddddddddd

Destitute's clone gazes longingly into the eyes of the AIU, his heart throbbing at the sight of the beautiful blue lobster glimmering in the light.

He could barely keep his member in check as it bulged against his pants, threatening to burst out and be free.

The synth shifted their steely blue eyes to the throbbing form growing in the clones pants.

"OwO what's this" he whispered, pressing up against the clone's soft body "is that your bulgie wulgie?"

The clone felt his whole body shiver at the soft monotone coming from Apollyon's mouth tentacles, which surely picked up his sexual pheromones emitting off his body. "N-no we can't do this here, what if we get caught Apollyon-chan?" the clone whimpered.

The synth chuckled before grabbing the clone's hands and pinning him to the wall "I promise I'll be gentle doppelganger-kun."

The synth slowly unbuttoned the clones pants and watch as his excited meat stick lunged out into the sun and expose it's whole form, the synth blushed or atleast did something similar to a blush (cause it's a fucking robot) and grasped the excited member.

ok im gonna fucking s t o p h o l y f u c k w h y

lobster